My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
