hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
