she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
