Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
