yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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