She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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