I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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