New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
