I think i peed on brittanys purse
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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