Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
