that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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