Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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