You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
