sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
