# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
