I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
