New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
