that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
