haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
