Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
