look no pants
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
