I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
