then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
