I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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