I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I party with great urgency now.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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