glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
