he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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