Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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