I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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