It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
