Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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