Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I am mentally ready for anal.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
