Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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