um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
