i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
