it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
