found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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