are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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