real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
