Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the day after is always just damage control
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
