Apparently you make a good broom.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
