in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
