were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I love you. Go after that dick
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
