pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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