hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
