Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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