i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
So squirting runs in the family.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
