Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
