Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Dick very happy bro
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
