batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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