I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
love makes seman taste better
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
