I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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